9 May 2021

My uncle died yesterday. I think it’s easy to guess the reason: Covid-19. It was all so sudden. He wasn’t exactly healthy, but he was taking the disease well with no significant complications. He was actually getting well. Then suddenly, he dies.
Worst part: I didn’t get to see him. Most of us didn’t.
He was always the kids’ favorite in our family. He would organize these incredible competitions at family get-togethers and come up with awesome riddles and puzzles. He was a friendly man, and he was one of the few who took the lockdown badly. He simply couldn’t survive without the daily visits to the local junction. It was always pleasant to talk to him.
He was a communist at heart, but he was open to all political ideas.
He once took me to see a play organized at the local temple Utsav. He knew I liked random knowledge and would often take his time out at quizzing me. Somewhere along the way, he had lost one of his legs, but I never heard him complain. He was never too proud to ask for help either. He knew when he needed a leaning hand, and he was more than happy to ask for it. He was a mix of both- he didn’t like spending too much time at someone else’s home, but he didn’t enjoy spending too much time alone either. He wasn’t your typical uncle. He was different. He had a certain kind of kindness and empathy, which made people comfortable around him. And I still can’t believe he is dead.
Sometimes I feel it’s wrong that I’m feeling so much pain about this. I mean, look at his own family or his best friends, or even my parents, people whose whole life had been filled with him. They must be the people who should be feeling this kind of pain, right? They must be the ones who should not be able to go on with their daily routines. Why am I feeling all of this? Am I doing any justification to his memory by directing my need to fail pain to his death? Or is what I am feeling real? Does it really hurt everyone this much when their uncle dies? I don’t know. Sometimes, I urge to call up my ex and cry and tell him every syllable I wrote here. I would have done so almost 2 months ago. But I know I won’t anymore. So here I came to vent again.