Alone

Late at night, I type in

” Why do people leave?”

Late at night I lie awake

“Wasn’t I funny enough?”

Late at night, I cry

“How can I end this pain?”

The world screams at you

“Be yourself”

But late at night when I search

for the answers in front

Of my laptop

I read:

“Maybe you should change,

Maybe you should bury your past,

Your fear of love, of attachment,

Your fear of praise, your thirst for approval,

Maybe you should work on them.

No one wants your broken pieces,

Everyone wants you whole,

Complete, laughing, smiling,

Not the crying, worrying you.

Maybe you should work on your frown

And smile more,

Maybe you should laugh

even when that joke tears you apart.”

“but”, I ask,” you said be yourself”.

and the reply comes,

“OH, yes dear, be yourself,

but make sure the you’s not really you.

Make sure the you is the mask

that you put on

To please the world.

For that’s what we do,

Make the world smile

Even if it doesn’t know you exist.

Make the world laugh

And there’ll be millions

To laugh with you, to fuck you

To have a drink with you,

To pretend to love you,

But always make sure that

they are happy.

They’ll be here forever

But that forever ends when

you stop making

them happy.

That’s all the world cares about.”